Shama Sikander recalls getting hospitalised after taking too many sleeping pills; says ‘I didn’t want to live’

Actor Shama Sikander, best known for her television and web work, recently opened up about a deeply personal and harrowing chapter of her life on Debina Bonnerjee’s podcast. In a powerful conversation, she recalled battling bipolar disorder, depression, and the moment she was hospitalised after attempting suicide.“I had bipolar disorder. You get very snappy. These are suppressed issues which should have been addressed healthily,” Shama shared. Describing her emotional state at the time, she said, “I was creating a pathetic world. Depression was a world I had created to save me. It made me numb.”She admitted to feeling disconnected and disillusioned with the entertainment industry. “I was very depressed and I didn’t like the industry.

I didn’t like the people here. I didn’t like the way everyone was so selfish, self-centered. First I went through the pain.”In one of the darkest moments of her life, Shama recalled taking an overdose of sleeping pills. “I tried to die by suicide but I came back. I was rushed to the hospital. My hands were tied up and when I saw, I thought this can’t be heaven.”

She continued, “For 4–5 hours I was gone. People couldn’t pick me up.

Your body gets heavier when you are unconscious. When I woke up, I saw a bucket next to me with all the poison being pumped out of my body.”The hospital staff told her they had to restrain her because she had become violent. “My parents came later. When I was in my senses, I thought why am I back in the same character. I didn’t want to live.”But that moment sparked change. “It was then when I got myself therapy and learnt about my bipolar disorder. I didn’t even know psychiatrists exist. I was in a very lost state for a few years. I had a lot of suppressed anger issues against the industry.”Her raw honesty is a reminder of the importance of mental health conversations—and the strength it takes to seek help and heal.